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Trump to Reopen Alcatraz to Imprison Canadians

Summary by [SATIRE] The Unger Review
SAN FRANCISCO, CA With the trade war heating up, Donald Trump recently announced he would be reopening Alcatraz with the sole purpose of imprisoning Canadians who’ve hurt his feelings on social media. “Cross the border with a Trump meme on your phone and its straight to Alcatraz for you!” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, “and I don’t mean on the tourist boat.” The cost to reopen Alcatraz is estimated to cost $165 billion, compl…
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[SATIRE] The Unger Review broke the news in on Friday, June 6, 2025.
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