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Outfield Completely Blanketed in Knackzoat After Winkler Man Makes Major Leagues

TAMPA BAY, FL The grounds crew had to work overtime to clean up all the knackzoat this week after Winkler man Tristan Peters made his Major League debut. “Half of Winkler was there, raining their sunflower shells down onto the field,” said grounds crew manager Dave Schmidt. “I usually tell people to spit them into an empty beer cup. But, yeah, with these folks that wasn’t an option” Moments after Peters got the call, the team ordered a naval flo…
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[SATIRE] The Unger Review broke the news in on Sunday, August 10, 2025.
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