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Mennonites Demand Low German on Cereal Boxes

AYLMER, ON Sick and tired to accidentally buying puffed wheat when what they wanted was Froot Loops, Mennonites in Canada are demanding that Low German be added to cereal boxes across the country. “Plus, it’ll be a good way for Canadians everywhere to learn a little bit of cereal box Plautdietsch,” said Mrs. Toews of Aylmer, Ontario. “I know my children are really looking forward to finally finding out how to say marshmallow in Low German.” The …
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[SATIRE] The Unger Review broke the news on Monday, August 24, 2026.
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