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Mennonite Man Discovers New Use for Ketchup

NEUBERGTHAL, MB After 300 consecutive days consuming his glums vereniki with nothin but Taunte Lina’s schmaunt fat, area man Dave Kroeker, 41, decided to reach into the fridge for the French’s ketchup. “I don’t know what came over me, but the schmaunt fat just wasn’t cutting it,” said Kroeker. “There were plenty of other options within reach–vinegar, golden syrup, tap water–but ultimately I figured the ketchup would be the best.” And boy was he …
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[SATIRE] The Unger Review broke the news in on Tuesday, July 15, 2025.
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