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Top thesqueakywheel.org News

Therapy Mafia Asks, 'Do We Have a Problem?' - The Squeaky Wheel

Welcome to the Sixth Family Therapy Outfit. We work with individuals, couples and families to help navigate life’s conflicts and painful experiences, offering first-class therapy through our team of exclusive, devoted men. Allow us to provide a brief background on our philosophy, as we believe you may be suffering from some honest misconceptions about therapy. There remains a certain air of disrepute around turning to therapy for your problems, …Read Article

United States · United States

25-Year-Old Disabled Person Placed in Nursing Home for Some Reason - The Squeaky Wheel

In an utterly confusing and perplexing development, sources have reported that Everett Miller, a 25-year-old disabled, nonbinary person, has been placed in a nursing home for some goddamn reason. After their parents decided that they were unable to care for Everett anymore, their dad, Victor Miller, reportedly spent about two seconds looking for a suitable environment for his young adult offspring before he pretty much gave up and decided a nurs…Read Article

Autistic Scientists Gather to Analyze Why People Are Mad at Them - The Squeaky Wheel

At a symposium that was the first of its kind, 200 autistic professionals, all elite in their respective fields of brain science, mental health and other social sciences, gathered yesterday to attempt to discover, once and for all, why people seem to be mad at them. Educational Diagnostic Growth and Enrichment for Autistic Self-Subsistence (EDGE-ASS) and the Autistic National Advocacy League (ANAL) have been conducting their work separately for …Read Article

I Lived It: I Went to the Bathroom During Colonoscopy Prep and Forgot My Phone - The Squeaky Wheel

Reader: I am writing to you after only recently having endured a hellish ordeal. Just hours ago, I began taking the laxatives to prepare for my colonoscopy tomorrow. I made sure my bathroom was tastefully appointed: Squatty Potty lined up, potpourri nearby, scented candles lit. I felt a tug at my stomach and settled on my throne. That’s when I realized I forgot the most important thing: my phone. I am no stranger to colonoscopies, nor to toilet …Read Article

Doctor Explains Devastating Test Results in Cutesy Euphemisms - The Squeaky Wheel

Local chimney sweep Chester J. Lampwick is waiting to hear the undisguised truth about his medical test results. But his primary care physician will only communicate them to him like he is a child in the Care Bear universe rather than a hardened 45-year veteran of the chimney game. Due to a cluster of chronic symptoms, Lampwick’s PCP referred him for several weeks’ worth of testing and visits to specialists, only to then withhold a straight-face…Read Article

Report: Accessible Public Bathroom Just a Hole in the Ground - The Squeaky Wheel

CLEVELAND — Reporter Cal Pontiac was on location researching a story and needed a bathroom break. He ducked into Connie’s Cupcakes nearby and was pointed to the accessible public bathroom by the cashier. That’s when he found out the horrifying truth: Their accessible bathroom was just a hole in the ground. “They even gave me an access code for the door,” Pontiac says. “But when I got to the bathroom behind their building, there were no doors, no…Cleveland, Ohio · Cleveland Read Article

Report: Not Receiving Necessary Healthcare Bad for One's Health - The Squeaky Wheel

In a groundbreaking development out of the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, researchers have found that not receiving healthcare that is necessary to one’s well-being is significantly worse for one’s health than receiving it. Dr. Melanie Kyrie, a specialist in chronic pain and complex psychosomatic trauma, spoke to reporters to expand on the implications of this remarkable breakthrough. “Despite what the for-profit healthcare system in the Unit…Health · United States Read Article

Frankly, the Worst Part of My 72-Hour Stay at the Psych Ward Was the DVD Selection - The Squeaky Wheel

I just got out of an involuntary 72-hour psychiatric hold, and boy is my humanity tired. I still feel like I’m being constantly watched, and I didn’t change my underpants for three days. Listen. There are a lot of bad things about a psych ward. The food is mediocre, and no one understands that I’m lactose intolerant. Sometimes it’s too loud, and sometimes it’s too quiet. There’s no privacy. I was locked in an inescapable dungeon designed to thwa…Denmark · Denmark See the Story

It’s Been 35 Years and Still No Diagnosis; I Want this Disease Named After Me - The Squeaky Wheel

Thirty-five years ago I saw the first of many know-it-all specialists. It started when I couldn’t turn the key in my car’s ignition to go see my high school boyfriend. Now I’m a menopausal quadriplegic and I still don’t have a diagnosis, despite numerous wrong ones in between. Clearly I’m a first, and I want this disease named after me. They’ve been trying to diagnose me for eons. After my first wrong diagnosis I had to travel all the way to the…Read Article

Trump Admin Torn Between Dismantling the 'Social' or the 'Security' as Top Priority - The Squeaky Wheel

After its first 100 days were replete with orders to expunge DEI from the federal government, the Trump administration is now experiencing an internal rift over what its next priority ought to be. While there is a consensus on dismantling social security programs, there is a divide over whether it is more important to the target the “social” or the “security.” Most observers see this as a small matter of semantics. Trump strategists, however, th…Security · United States Read Article

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