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Tina Kotek Announces Bold Plan to Fix Oregon by Staring Blankly
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Tina Kotek Announces Bold Plan to Fix Oregon by Staring Blankly
SALEM, OR — In a groundbreaking press conference Tuesday, Governor Tina Kotek unveiled her latest initiative to address Oregon’s mounting crises: staring blankly into the distance until everything magically fixes itself. “My administration has worked tirelessly to identify the root cause of Oregon’s challenges,” Kotek said, her eyes glazing over as reporters waited for elaboration. “And after months of deep contemplation, we’ve concluded the mos…
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