If I admit I’m HIV positive, some men immediately reject me. If I lie and say I’m HIV negative, many of those same men will gladly have unprotected sex with me. That contradiction has haunted me for years and made me wonder: What would the gay men who died of AIDS in the 1980s think if they could see us now? The future would absolutely astonish them. Everybody carries around a handheld device that can instantly broadcast their thoughts, faces, b…