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Ozzy Osbourne To Headline Heaven’s Main Stage, Lucifer Sues For Breach Of C
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Ozzy Osbourne To Headline Heaven’s Main Stage, Lucifer Sues For Breach Of C
HEAVEN — In what celestial insiders are calling the most shocking lineup shakeup in millennia, sources confirmed Tuesday that heavy metal icon Ozzy Osbourne will headline Heaven’s main stage this summer, prompting Lucifer himself to file a breach of contract lawsuit in the Infernal Courts. “Look, we had Ozzy penciled in for a 666-show residency in Hell,” said Beelzebub, Hell’s booking agent, visibly flustered as he rifled through decades of cont…
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