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Officials Urge Rioters to Stretch Before Peacefully Yeeting Bricks for
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Officials Urge Rioters to Stretch Before Peacefully Yeeting Bricks for
PORTLAND, OR — In anticipation of this weekend’s peaceful protest that definitely won’t involve any windows mysteriously shattering themselves, city health officials have released a helpful reminder to all would-be demonstrators: “Don’t forget to stretch before yeeting.” “Too many young activists are pulling muscles mid-toss,” said Dr. Skylar Moonstone, the city’s new Wellness Equity Coordinator. “We’re seeing a spike in rotator cuff injuries an…
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