Mountain biking draws out the self hate in me, and my crippling self doubt… but it can also draw me back from the brink

Mountain biking draws out the self hate in me, and my crippling self doubt… but it can also draw me back from the brink

I don’t think this is what Jamie Darlow meant when he asked me to “write about your favourite part of mountain biking”. His suggestions were all the lovely, fluffy feel good reasons you’d expect: “Shredding, climbing, the sound of tyres ripping into dirt, being with friends, drinking beer, surviving something scary, etc etc.” My immediate response was a lot darker and stronger though and the more I’ve leaned into it the more I’ve had to admit my…