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Mennonites Hope to Dodge Draft in Upcoming Trade War

Summary by [SATIRE] The Unger Review

GOESSEL, KS With a trade war on the horizon, Mennonites across North America are looking for ways to keep out of the whole mess and preserve their pacifist values. “I’m thinking of going to the Conscientious Objector camp in the Rockies,” said Abe Dueck of Winkler. “I’ll just wait out this whole trade war thing with a bag of Ronnie’s zoat – Canadian made, of course.” South of the Canadian border, the US government has already initiated Trade War…

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[SATIRE] The Unger Review

Mennonites Hope to Dodge Draft in Upcoming Trade War

GOESSEL, KS With a trade war on the horizon, Mennonites across North America are looking for ways to keep out of the whole mess and preserve their pacifist values. “I’m thinking of going to the Conscientious Objector camp in the Rockies,” said Abe Dueck of Winkler. “I’ll just wait out this whole trade war thing with a bag of Ronnie’s zoat – Canadian made, of course.” South of the Canadian border, the US government has already initiated Trade War…

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[SATIRE] The Unger Review broke the news in 22 days ago on Sunday, February 2, 2025.

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