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Dear Abby: 21-year-old is angry she wasn’t told about relatives on absent dad’s side of the family

The daughter’s paternal grandmother revealed a paternity test on her 21st birthday, triggering family conflict and revealing a previously kept secret in their small town.

  • On my daughter's 21st birthday, the paternal grandmother called and presented a paternity test as a birthday gift to the 38-year-old mother’s daughter, Penny.
  • After becoming pregnant at 16, the writer largely raised Penny alone, choosing not to involve Penny's father or the father's family because they were uninvolved, though she admitted their small town made secrecy unrealistic.
  • The paternal grandparents still live locally, and Penny's father had several other children, while Grandma is in poor health and her previous caregiver moved across the country.
  • Penny is angry that her mother was not honest about her history and that the grandmother only now acknowledges the relationship, while the writer is furious that paternal relatives placed Penny in this situation.
  • Looking ahead, the mother worries about caregiving expectations as the writer says she worked hard to build a life for Penny and suspects Grandma wants Penny to assume caregiving responsibility.
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Bias Distribution

  • 45% of the sources are Center
45% Center

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St. Mary Now broke the news in on Thursday, January 29, 2026.
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