Dear Abby: I’ve Told My Friends Who Are Gay to Tone It Down in Front of My Family
HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, NEW HAMPSHIRE, AUG 9 – An older gay man who has not come out to family asks an openly gay friend to avoid discussing sexual orientation during a small gathering to maintain privacy.
- An older gay man invited his cousin, her husband, and several close gay friends over to his home for a gathering ahead of an event in the city.
- Because he never came out to his family, he asked one openly gay friend not to discuss his sexual orientation at the gathering.
- The friend agreed but felt surprised by the request, and the man questioned if it was wrong to exclude personal details from the conversation.
- He was later called a homophobe, and advice suggested this was a missed chance to open his family to his true identity by allowing openness.
- This event highlights the tension between the man's desire for privacy and the social expectation to accept individuals fully without censoring their identities.
20 Articles
20 Articles


DEAR ABBY: Closeted man tells gay friend to tone it down for relatives
DEAR ABBY: One of my friends is very open about his life and I asked him politely to refrain from talking about it when meeting my cousin and her husband for the first time. He agreed, although he was a…
Dear Abby: I asked gay friend to tone it down during a get-together with my family. He got mad
DEAR ABBY: I’m an older gay male with many gay friends, but I have never come out to family, although I’m confident most of them know or suspect my sexual orientation. I invited my cousin and her husband to a small get-together before an event here in the city near my house. I also invited a few close (gay) friends who were attending the event. I’m fairly close with this cousin but have never talked about my sexual orientation with her.
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