Asking Eric: Hoarder Friend Says She Wants Help, but I Think She’s Just Going Through the Motions

Asking Eric: Hoarder's friend wants to help but doesn't want to risk ...

Asking Eric: My hoarder friend reached out for help, but isn’t actually accepting it

Dear Eric: I have a friend of several decades and recently learned she is a hoarder. We always met outside our homes for coffee or lunch. I just assumed it was more convenient.A few months ago, she texted to tell me she’s been embarrassed for me to find out her “secret.” She also asked me for help. I was thrilled and offered to help, but she refused to make a commitment.

Asking Eric: Hoarder friend says she wants help, but I think she’s just going through the motions

How do I get her to commit?

Asking Eric: Hoarder’s friend wants to help but doesn’t want to risk piling on shame

Her mother and daughter are quick to express their disgust at her “problem” ...

Asking Eric: Hoarder’s friend wants to help but doesn’t want to risk causing shame

Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas answers his readers' questions in this June 12, 2025 edition of Asking Eric.

Column | Asking Eric: Hoarder’s friend wants to help but doesn’t want to shame