Gift to Estranged Grandchild May Come with Strings
The gift could help Avery finish college, but the grandfather still refuses to accept Avery’s identity, creating tension around the offer.
- Avery's father-in-law revealed a tradition of gifting $10,000 to grandchildren turning 25, intending to offer the funds to his estranged grandchild, Avery, who will reach that milestone in a few weeks.
- Estrangement stems from the grandfather's refusal to accept Avery's identity; he has repeatedly criticized them in phone calls and texts despite expressing hope to repair the relationship.
- Avery plans to return to college this fall to finish their degree, and the parent noted the $10,000 would make a real difference for living expenses, though they worry about emotional strings attached.
- Avery's father, who believes the transition may be a "phase," thinks Avery should simply accept the money and move on, while the other parent remains conflicted about the rejection accompanying the gift.
- Guidance suggests Avery must approach this arrangement clear-eyed, as accepting the money does not require denying their identity, even if the gesture fails to bridge the underlying family divide.
15 Articles
15 Articles
Asking Eric: Should my 24-year-old accept a gift from their grandfather who refuses to accept their identity?
DEAR ERIC: A few years ago, my 24-year-old child came out as nonbinary and chose a new name, “Avery.” While the adjustment hasn’t always been easy, most of our immediate family now use Avery’s new name and pronouns. The exception is my husband’s parents, especially my father-in-law, who does not accept Avery’s identity and has criticized them about it in phone calls and texts. As a result, they are now estranged.
Asking Eric: Grandpa doesn’t accept our nonbinary child, but still wants to give them $10K
Dear Eric: A few years ago, my 24-year-old child came out as nonbinary and chose a new name, “Avery.” While the adjustment hasn’t always been easy, most of our immediate family now use Avery’s new name and pronouns. The exception is my husband’s parents, especially my father-in-law, who does not accept Avery’s identity and has criticized them about it in phone calls and texts. As a result, they are now estranged.
Sun-Sentinel
The Mercury newsAsking Eric: He’ll give his grandkid $10,000 but won’t use their new name
Should Avery simply accept $10,000 from his estranged grandfather and move on?
Missoulian
Gift to estranged grandchild may come with strings
Dear Eric: A few years ago, my 24-year-old child came out as nonbinary and chose a new name, "Avery." While the adjustment hasn't always been easy, most of our immediate family now use Avery's new name and pronouns. The exception…
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