Asking Eric: I’m Having a Hard Time Getting over a 2004 Breakup Even Though I Don’t Want Him Back
The writer says the breakup still hurts after 20 years and urges readers to rethink how they handle family money and forgiveness.
- A reader wrote to advice columnist Eric Thomas expressing difficulty overcoming a 20-year-old breakup from 2004, during which an ex-fiancé turned "viciously" after six years of partnership.
- Simultaneously, other readers asked Thomas about family financial dilemmas, including whether to gift money saved for a daughter's wedding or spend it on a vow renewal party.
- The correspondent described the ex-fiancé as having turned "viciously" after a six-year relationship, while parents debated prioritizing a vow renewal ceremony over supporting their daughter's potential home purchase.
- To address the writer's pain, Thomas suggested consulting a therapist to work through unresolved feelings, while recommending parents ask their daughter about her specific needs regarding the house.
- Acceptance remains critical in recovering from past wounds, as Thomas emphasized that finding peace requires letting go of what was hoped for and learning to live with present circumstances.
13 Articles
13 Articles
Asking Eric: I’m having a hard time getting over a 2004 breakup even though I don’t want him back
Dear Eric: I am having a hard time getting over an old fiancé from 2004 and the way this person went from “I can’t live without you” for six years to turning on me viciously.We never cursed at one another until one night in October. I was so crushed. I am with a wonderful man now. But I just cannot figure this out.
Asking Eric: After 20 years, breakup still hurts
Advice columnist R. Eric Thomas answers his readers' questions in this June 19, 2026 edition of Asking Eric.
After over 20 years, breakup from fiancé still hurts
Dear Eric: I am having a hard time getting over an old fiancé from 2004 and the way this person went from "I can't live without you" for six years to turning on me viciously.

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